Archive for August, 2008
What makes a celebrity?
It’s been three days since I vowed to make friends with a celebrity. (See #9 in post below). Although I have seven months to make this minor miracle happen it is proving very difficult to get started. Questions crowd in on me concerning the best plan of action; a possible shortlist; geographical location; gender and so on. But my biggest quandary is trying to define a ‘celebrity’.
Having consulted a few trusted people in my life we have decided that a celebrity is someone who, if invited to ones wedding or birthday party, would be recognised by most people. But doesn’t this vary depending on ones friendship circle?
More than all the rest, this challenge causes me the most angst. Unless I have a finely honed strategy; I could be arrested, locked up in an asylum, shot by an undercover body-guard, run-over by a motorcade, punched, followed and threatened, beaten to a pulp… the list is endless when you think about it!
Therefore I have decided that a minor celebrity from the emerald isle may be the most achievable and certainly more possible than an international movie star or rap artist. Suggestions so far have included William Crawley, Shane Lynch, Ian Paisley, Gerry Anderson, Hugo Duncan, Christine Bleakley, Fanta Clarke, Eamon Holmes and the current Presbyterian Moderator. So I now shamelessly make my appeal to any A, B or C list, Irish/British celebrity, who by chance reads this blog, to get in touch with me… thanks.
All other suggestions gratefully received.
3 comments August 26, 2008
Things I should do before I’m 30 (in no particular order!)
At the time of writing this post I am a single male aged twenty-nine years and six months. I have no regular job although my future seems to be taken care off so I’m not worried. I’m assured.
However, I can’t help but feel like there’s something terribly grown-up about being thirty something. When the twenties have passed we no longer have the right/freedom/excuse to be irresponsible, fool-hardy and adventurous. Therefore the time has come for me to write down some achievable ‘tasks’ which may enhance my life experiences over the next six months. This list of ‘things to do before I’m 30′ helps to legitimise some of my hankerings and challenge my comfort zones.
Thank you to my friends for your helpful comments and suggestions. I have decided to omit: shooting something; sleeping rough; speed-dating; parachute jumping; buying a PHD and getting married. These suggestions were - after much contemplation - either too expensive, too desperate or too uncomfortable. But thanks anyway!
Hopefully this ”to do” list will generate enough material to keep my blog alive for a bit longer!
- Do some overseas travel by myself
- Go to a ballet
- Learn a second language (excluding biblical Greek and Hebrew)
- Grow vegetables
- Ride a motorbike
- Play guitar in church
- Own a pet
- Test drive an expensive car that I have no intention of buying
- Make friends with a celebrity
- Climb a mountain
- Take up a sport
- Start a society
- Become a volunteer in an organisation
- Apply for a T.V. show
- Cook dinner for a stranger
- Sell something on ebay
- Organise a street party
- Go busking for an afternoon
- Send flowers to a girl who’s not related to me
- Go on a road-trip in Ireland and camp somewhere which isn’t a campsite and cook breakfast in the morning on a trangia stove
- Broaden my friendship circle to better represent the cultural and religious differences in society
- Lead someone to Jesus
- Go to a music festival
- Eat at a Michelin starred restaurant
- Read “Cloud Atlas” (I chose this at random from a list)
- Record my family history
- Watch the “Star Wars Trilogy”
- Get something published
- Visit London
- Sing Karaoke
5 comments August 22, 2008
A pigeon, some wasps and a cup of coffee…please!
What do you get if you cross a black and white pigeon with two wasps and a mega-large americano? A cosmopolitan coffee experience in Portadown!
Whilst my trusty Rover 25 was getting a nice new pair of brakes I decided to do coffee and sermon prep in a pleasant non-threatening environment. After a 5 minute dander with my laptop strapped to my back I decided on the new “O’Brien’s”, just beside the church. After avoiding the unfortunately placed dog poo at the front door I wandered inside and over to the counter. I ordered a large americano and fumbled in my pocket for a couple of pound coins. Something moved, behind the big red sofa to my right. I glanced at the girl behind the counter and she shot me a nervous, slightly flustered, glance back. Eventually a black and white pigeon tottered out from behind the sofa. “Do you know there’s a pigeon in here” I said helpfully. “Yeah” she said with a sigh “we’ve been trying to get him out all morning”. I took my coffee to the other side of the cafe and opened my laptop. Apparently it takes 2 O’brien’s workers, half a loaf of bread and 25 minutes to tease a pigeon out of a coffee shop. It only takes one ministry student and a second-hand newspaper to kill two wasps.
1 comment August 9, 2008
